My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
