I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I party with great urgency now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
