I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
