You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
