Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
