i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize