that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
