Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My liver just had a heart attack.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
