We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
