Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
