Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
