We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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