i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
