Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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