Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
