Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You dont lie about slip and slides
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
