A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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