STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
