I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
