That's when you crack a 10am beer
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm at about main and main street
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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