On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
