ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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