When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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