that's an acceptable place to lick
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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