haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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