Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
