I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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