Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize