this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
