You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
