I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
In America we eat man semen.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
