i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you didnt know i had herpes?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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