he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
