smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
