if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
