Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
