there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
