Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
