But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
