shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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