i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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