Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
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