ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
