oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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