id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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