I will die if light touches me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
