the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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