I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
