We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
