So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
